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(via brisasmith)
Posted on May 17, 2012 via MY BODY IS A CAGE with 3,690 notes
Source: bonushumor
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(via msstylez)
Posted on May 16, 2012 via Childhood Nostalgia with 954 notes
Source: childhood-nostalgia
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RAVERS GONE WRONG!! A.K.A ENTITIES OF CALAMITIES!!
Over the weekend Thee TIM WESTWOOD *drops bomb* Threw a massive rave at the infamous 02. The USP of this event was Ladies FREE ALL NIGHT!!..Now normally when you go to a rave, its usually LADIES free before a certain time and the MANDEM pay all night.
Now i know a couple of guys who dont really like this policy.. but Tis is life. Now with that said.. im going to straight to the point..
Ladies when you go to rave do you not ASSUME that rave photgraphers will be about.. You will end up getting snapped..even when your slipping. So you’ve got to be on guard.. don’t you take advantage of the GO TO THE BATHROOM tunes that come on…To see if your Lace wig has not tilted to the left, or if your eyebrows are dripping of black ink because of the sweat. Or if your smell has dramatically changed from BRITNEY SPEARS FANTASY TO BILLINGSGATE MARKET!!
Now this brings me to my main point.. bring on
CALAMITY 1!!!
I’ve labeled them EXHIBIT A,B,C AND D!! THIS IS SEXY GONE WRONG!
EXHIBIT A..- Rolls on rolls on rolls: The meaning of dress according to your size was just thrown out of the window.. YEP… This is what we call FUFU belly. And she had the AUDACITY TO WEAR LACE, LACE.. off all textures and materials. You chose lace. GIRL..you did this to yourself. Size 18 trying to wear size 8…
EXHBIT B AND C : She looks like a double D, wearing a TRIPLE A bra…I dont understand this. Whoever the guys is holding her boobs.. ONLY GOD CAN HELP YOU!
EXHIBIT D : Yh you hide your face.. he could probably be a BAIT DJ
EXHIBIT E: The durex logo above her head.. is definitely a sign from above
LET THIS BE A LESSON LEARNT TO EVERY RAVE ATTENDEE… BE PREPARED FOR THE WORST. DONT GET DISGRACED AND REFACED.. THIS GIRL DID THIS TO HERSELF..IM SORRY.. BUT ITS SOMETHING THAT THE POPULATION SHOULD KNOW..
THIS IS FOR THE GOOD OF MANKIND
THIS IS ALSO A NONE JUDGMENTAL ZONE.. EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL IN THE EYES OF GOD.. BUT not the eyes of HUMAN BEINGS
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“BABEE,i want to mek you my wife.. Ca’mon”
African guy see’s girl tries to get her attention, so walks after her
*Aff Accent*
(kissing of the lips sound)
“Hey, i tink your bere peng like,Whot iz your nem..I want to get to know you”..
I’ve been wanting to write about this FOR TIIIME!!.. But never had time to sit down and do it. But today something that happened during my travels pushed me to write about this situation !!! PLEASE FEEL MY RAGE…
Now with Immigration on the rise and more and more African men coming to London to continue their ”Studies”. Us poor ladies UNDER 25’S.. who are just minding are business, get hasseled day by day by these overly Horny F.O.B’S..
Now i don’t know if they are doing this to acquire their Visa, so they can start up their cleaning/ Toilet Attendant/ Ticket Inspector business. But it needs to stop at this INSTANT!!..
Porn was invented to keep you blue balled guys happy.. Just you, your choice of Cream preferably Vaseline, or Cocoa Butter and your left hand or right hand..
My thing is, its alright to look, you know….we all look sometimes.. BUT DAMN AFF GUYS NEED TO STOP!!! THEY MUST BE STOPPED!!
ladies have you heard these “AFF BARS” from these F.O.B’S
“AFF BAIT BARS”
“Babe i tink ive seen you somewhere before, you look so fameleear”
Our Answer : No you havent, and no i dont kmt
“You know i have a big masion in Nigeria”
Our Answer : Then why are you here ??
” I want to get to know you, what is your nomba”
Our Answer : I dont have one
“I drive a range rover, but i just got on the bus to save money,so i left it at home”
Our Answer : Xcuse me this is my stop KMT!
” I want to take you back to Nigeria and marry you”
“I had a dream about you, God told me i will meet my wife”
Our Answer : You must of heard wrongly
“I like your style”
“You dropped something”
Our answer: What ??
“Its our conversation”
“My answer”: KWASSSIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“I’m a football playa, yh i play for Manchesta united, but im always on di bensh”
“Babe, you ave a borry of a goddess, look at doze carves”
“*aff accent* Baby u so billiful, look at ur smile like d sun *He grins* I duno hw to tell u this I know dis is d 1st time seein bt *takes in breath* I’m in love with you, plz, can I have your number maybe I can take you wessfeild, showping anytin u want I do for you. -______-
You’ve basically just subliminally told me WHY I SHOULD not give you the time of day!!Its bad enough you sound like you went to america for a day and convinced your self that your an American citizen..Or even trying to put on that British accent..You are not convincing me!!!
Aswell dont forget those sound effects that come with them
AFF SOUND Effects
*SSSSSSSSSSSSSSS*
*kissing sounds, the one that you use to call a pet*
*hey hey hey hey hey*
*Monotone whistle*
ALL YOU CAN SAY IS MOVEEEEE FROM ME..
Now i dont know how these Aff guys approached the girls in their local villages.. But over here in London we dont take that!!
Dont get me wrong there are “SOME” that MIGHT GET THAT PASS…(NOT ME).. But you poor girls who are not WISE in these situations.. Will get gassed when he tells you “Yh bebe, my Dad is the king of something something state in Nigeria, and im the prince”.. In your mind.. your thinking of coming to America.. He is Hakeem, he’s secretly come to London to find his QWAIN!! and he chose you,and your going to live APPILY EVA AFTA.. WELL REALITY BLOODY CHECK!! HE IS LIEING!!.. he comes from a Village near PORT HARCOURT!..
When you get approached by them perves you feel like UTTER SHIT..in your head your thinking is this what i attract.!! They are too forward.
All they want us to do is get married in a registry, get them a visa, BREED us, wait on them with a dry back foot and .. then leave us for white woman.YOU MUST BE MAD!! I REBUKE THAT FOR MY LIFE!! TOFIAKWA *CLICKS OVER HEAD*
smelling like Goat and STEW!! kmt stewpid,Gorrila’s and Monkeys..My friend MOVE FROM ME!!
CAN WE LIVE PLEASE!
You go and chill in Guvnor bar with the rest of the “BAWLLA’S “
Infact especiallly those perves, you will them your age ASSUMING that they will run away..
AFF PERVE : “Hey babe, ow old are you like”
Girl : 14..Im too young for you
Aff Perve : Im 16, (A.K.A 38) Look dont worry about dah, Age aint nuttin bah a NOMBA”.. I wan to mek swee love to you.
*records cuts out*
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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ALL MY NEO SOUL/JAZZ LOVERS..THIS IS FOR YOU, YOU AND YOU!!!
The ending of last year and the beggining of this year was and has been a good one for us Neo Soul/Jazz lovers..
We’ve had the likes of
Ledisi « With her Amazing Vocals she came in January
Jill Scott « Who i missed, cause i had rehearsals and a plane to catch the next day. I dont think i will EVER , EVER get over this.
The come back Tour from MR.D’ANGELO.. who we have all been waiting to see for how many years..His career kind off took a tumble when he was put in jail. For what i dont know and dont care about. But he came back to SHOW ALL DEM HATERS *American Accent*Why we fell in love with his Vocals, and that HAMAZING BODY!!
Sidebar : Ladies and Guys (If your into that.. THIS A NO JUDGEMENT ZONE) Did you always want the camera to go a little lower… *wink wink*
If you missed out on the concerts above…
Well have no fear MI’KA is here to fill you in with more NEO SOUL/JAZZ concerts happening in the next couple of months. The links will also be available for you to go straight to the ticket purchases…
THESE CONCERTS, LIVE SHOWS ARE DEFINITELY NOT TO BE MISSED I TELL YA!!
*****IMPORTANT CONCERT DATES****
Dwele
Venue :Jazz Cafe
Dates : 25th,26th,27th,28th April 2012
Start time : 7pm
Ticket price: £25.75 (£22.50 + 3.25 ) Booking Fee»>Click here for tickets «<
Jesse Boykins III
Venue : Jazz Cafe
Dates : 19th May 2012
Start Time : 7pm
Ticket Price : £17 (£15+2.00) Booking Fee »> click here for tickets«<
Robert Glasper with Bilal
Venue : Barbican Hall
Dates: 14th May 2012
Start Time : 7:30pm
Tickets: £10-£25 »>Click here for tickets «<
Jazzanova+ The Herbiliser
Venue: Koko
Dates: 16th June 2012
Start Time: 9pm
Tickets :£17 »> Click here for tickets«<
Thats all i got for now.. ON THE NEO SOUL/JAZZ CIRCUIT BUT MAKE SURE TO CONTINUE CHECKING TO IF THERES ANY MORE CONCERTS COMING UP!!
X
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My fortune.
Posted on February 22, 2012 via Aza Lately with 2 notes
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“We like are men with style part 2 coming soon”
(via mulannoir)
Posted on February 1, 2012 via Stru{t} Mode with 13 notes
Source: strutmode
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Embrace your Natural!!
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MUSIC+MASSAGES= REDD ROOMS!!
REDD ROOMS….WAS ABSOLUTELY LIVE!
IF you don’t know what im talking about.. well I’m about to fill you in…
So Wednesday (11.01.2012) My new found Friend Rhoda *Hey girl*.. Told me about this Event she was having.. Now this event wasnt like any sort of normal live night.. it was a UNIQUE EVENT THAT *watch this* COMBINED A SPA THERAPY EXPERIENCE WITH ENTERTAINMENT!!...*Have you ever heard of this before*NO!.. Exactly hence why it was lively!
The setting was very intimate, dim lights, candles with the smooth melodic sounds of soulful House.. Now Im a HOUSE LOVER..i play house. So i knew that this was going to be a good good night!.
Not only that.. every single attendee received a signature homemade ‘Rhoda Redd Red velvet cherry cupcake’ * See what i did there Rhoda Redd , Red Velvet*. And they where YUMM!!.. Had everyone licking there fingers and all sorts.
So after gobbling down are delish cupcakes.. we took to our seats and then was presented with another finger food. It was savory biscuit topped with creme cheese with a salmon slice wrapped around the creme cheese top with a chive sprig in it.. *My mums a chef.. i know these things*(aff accent)
But here is the most exciting part.. While everyone was waiting to be entertained by the live guest.. *Were getting to the good part* There were massage therapist there.. That’s right i didn’t st st st stutter. They were there giving people that knot breaking, smooth walking type of massage.
So maybe after a 10 minute wait.. The Live entertainment began and the two host’s..Remel London *My home slice from another Home dice* :/ (That was cheesy) and Michael. Gave us the introduction into what we should be expecting..A bit of crowd participation.. and all that good jazz.
So to kick off the live entertainment was Up and Coming Female MC by the name of June. She came on with her two Fierce Dancers
She totally smacked it up… I’ve seen her perform countless times and she always provides you with a good show. THATS HOW YOU DO IT.
*Sidebar*: Can i just put in here, that while all this performing was going on .. people are at the back getting massages done.. So they where watching the event and getting their massages.!!! Sick
Next was 2 actors who performed part1 of their 3 piece drama..Now i was drinking my glass of Ro’se. But from what i got from the piece of the drama they performed was about the mis-communication of a couple. Not stating how you really feel and telling them what they want to hear. That was good.
So they finished there 5 minute piece after the round of Applause where done. We was introduced to new kid on the block Junk Star Kidds ( Only 1 person by the way not a group). He graced us with his Indie Vocals aswell showed us how he can flow on the mickity mickity mic, by performing one of his rapping/sing = Sapping songs.
PART 2 OF THE DRAMA PIECE* To be honest i cant really remember what the second part of the drama was about. I THINK.. it was the relationship coming out of the honey moon period *Kanye Shrug*.
Up next was GEORGE THE POET!!!!!!!!!!!
Now for those who don’t know who George the Poet is.He is a gifted very gifted 20 year old poet, hailing form north West London.This guys has poetry about government issues, to girls with weaves to giving us those conscious words.
He had this 1 poem that he dedicated to girls.. and said this one line that killed me.
"You girls are like DJ's the way scratch a track" !!<< For those slow people he was referring tothe way girls with weaves..try and scratch their weave tracks.But he absolutely killed it.
SIDEBAR : PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING MASSAGES AT THE BACK OF THE ROOM..LIVING LIFE!!
Part 3 of the Drama piece.. i actually lost track.*SORRY*It was now time for the HEADLINER Miss Rachael Kerr.The Mobo nominated, Gospel Singer known for her Beastly (WICKED) vocals.. She brought the Caribbean sunshine to us with her first song.. She definitely was theHEADLINE ACT!.
That was the end of the Live entertainment.. but now it was time for the raffle draw.. Everyone was given a raffle ticket upon entrance.Now sometimes i get a bit skeptical about RAFFLE tickets.. BUT.. only because i never win anything. My bloody ticket never gets called out..Now for some reason i don't know what.. i felt like this was my time to win a raffle prize.. NEW YEAR.. NEW MEANING, NEW SEASON, NEW WINNINGS...There was 2 prizes a spa set.. Bath salts, creams and all that spa stuff. The big prize was a £65 worth Voucher for a spa day..<, Hearing this i got gassed.. And remembered in church the pastor said"THIS WILL BE YOUR SEASON OF THANK YOU'S" *Aff accent*So I'm getting ready for Rhoda to call out my raffle ticket * My number was 10*.. All i hear is " Number ...well a number that wasn't mine.HEARTBROKEN...HAD MY SPEECH AND EVERYTHING!After that trauma of not getting the prize.. I took myself to the back.. and got myself a well deserved massage.. WOOOOO.. she untied all my knots and crosses.. lifting up my head.. smoothing out my back.. At the end of it.. was i standing straight. :DOVERALL IT WAS A GOOD NIGHT.. and i definitely advise people to go to the next one...Check out the RED ROOMS facebook pageFollow the Founder Rhoda Redd on twirraPEACE!!!
I DRINK MUSIC!!!
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